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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

comedora de papel

Não estou feliz com essa merda toda. E seria mais um dia indo trabalhar, pegando ônibus, subindo a ladeira do centro e agüentando meus colegas de trabalho discutindo futilidades. Fiquei puto de vez. Dormir até as nove horas, não, dez horas. O celular não parava de tocar. E já estava lotado de diversas ligações não atendidas, de familiares, chefes e namorada. Peguei o celular, enfiei na privada e dei descarga. Em seguida tomei um banho longo, com direito a bolhinhas de sabão por todo o apartamento. Enxuguei-me e fui até a cozinha, onde botei yogurt com vodika para a cachorra tomar. Sai peladão mesmo por ai, todos me olhavam horrorizados – gordo e peludo. Eu acenava para eles e dizia “Sim, é pequeno mesmo.” A policia quase me pegou, mas fui mais rápido e invadi um ônibus. Todos saíram assustados, e ameaçando urinar no motorista o obriguei a dirigir até o meu trabalho. Eu deveria bater o cartão logo na entrada da empresa, mas não tinha bolsos e não deu para levá-lo. Os seguranças me reconheceram e antes de cumprimentar, como sempre cumprimentavam, deram conta que eu estava sem roupas. Primeiro ficaram preocupadas, perguntando o que houve, se fui assaltado. Pegaram uma toalha e me cobriram, entrei na empresa e fui até a sala de meu chefe. Ele olhou assustado e pasmo com a cena. Comecei a me masturbar sobre a maldita impressora que sempre comia papel. Graças a meu orgasmo precoce consegui fugir antes dos seguranças me alcançarem. Aquela maldita impressora merecia.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Se for uma que parece um RIIIIINRIIIIINRRRRIIIIIIINCAFCAFCAFCAFCAFAGAGRZIIIIIIIMINNNNNIIIIINNIZXIIIIIIn
ou algo muito mais irritante que isso, merecia mesmo.


Nada a ver com o post:
voce é de jp? gordo e branquelo com cara de mau? acho que te vi no ônibus algum domingo desses...

E outra:
Vodika não tem o I. é Vodka. =X

Kadije Alves said...

caraaaaaaaaaa
tu comeu a impressora!!!
oh god!
o q sairá desse cruzamento??

Anonymous said...

Eu não lembro direito, mas o cara que eu vi me lembrou muito você [não sei nem pq digo isso :S]. mas ele tinha o cabelo curto, cacheado e tinha cara de mau siiiiiiim!
ele/você/queseja ficou me encarando com cara de maaau!

Anonymous said...

E voce conhece o Abominnaveeeeel!!

Fábio Ricardo said...

jéssica, é só verificar: ele estava pelado e mijando no motorista?

J. Lara said...

Beleza sair peladão, jogar celular na privada, se masturbar na impressora... mais vodka com iogurte pra cachorra é demias
huHAUhauHAUhauhu
muito bom!!!

Presmic said...

Eu tb não aguento ler muito em blog não... na verdade eu postei cada capítulo por vez_hahaha
Te linkei no Blogh B! pq adorei seu blog, é simples e original 8)
Bjokas

Anonymous said...

hauhauha Muito, muito bom mesmo! Acho que já tive fantasias parecidas - até onde é possível pra mim acompanhar a podridão de sua mente. =P

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